Doug delivers his final dharma talk as the sangha's Guiding Teacher.

Full Transcript

So today I'd like to talk about fearlessness. In three different renderings of the Heart Sutra, it says the cause and Joan Halifax version of the Sutra of Realizing Wisdom Beyond Wisdom, that being free of attainment, those who help all to awake and abide in Anuttara Samyaksambodhi, the complete perfect enlightenment, and live with an unhindered mind. Without any hindrance, the mind has no fear.

In the Heart Sutra rendered by Thich Nhat Hanh, the insight that brings us to the other shore, the Bodhisattvas who practice the insight that bring us to the other shore, see no more obstacles of their mind. They can overcome all fear, destroy all wrong perceptions, and realize nirvana.

And then the Great Wisdom Beyond Wisdom Heart Sutra, the old translation that we use often at Jikoji goes with nothing to attain. The Bodhisattva depends on Prajnaparamita and the mind is no hindrance. And without any hindrance, no fears exist.

So, the hindrances are like desire for sensual pleasures, ill will, sloth and torpor, remorse and restlessness, and doubt. And I want to speak specifically to doubt and the as a hindrance to fearlessness.

Skeptical doubt is like a man traveling through a desert, aware that there are travelers that could be plundered and killed by robbers. And at the mere sound of a twig or a bird song, become anxious and fearful, thinking the robbers have come and will go a few more steps and then out of fear will stop and continue in such a manner all the way and may even turn back. It is similar with one in whom doubt has arisen. He cannot accept what is with confidence as a matter of trust and unable to do so he does not attain to the paths and fruits of the sacred, of the sanctity of this existence.

And thus as a traveler in a desert is uncertain whether robbers are there or not, he produces in his mind again and again a state of a wavering mind, vacillation of what to do, a lack of decision and a state of anxiety. And thus creates this obstacle of reaching safe ground to the sacred, the holy, the sanctity of what existence offers. And in that way skeptical doubt is like traveling in the desert with fear and doubt preventing us from fully being present in the sacred space of the of the unconditioned.

The abandonment of doubt has been described this way: it is like a strong man who with his luggage in hand and well armed travels through a wilderness with in company. And if robbers see him even from afar they will take flight crossing safely the wilderness and reaching a place of safety. Similarly, a monk seeing this skeptical doubt can see that as a great harm and cultivates its anecdote and gives up doubt. A monk having crossed the wilderness of evil conduct will finally reach the state of highest security, the deathless realm of Nirvana, a fearless state. And therefore the Blessed One compared the abandonment of this kind of doubt to reaching a place of safety.

So there's doubt in having doubt of the validity of Buddha, of the validity and truthfulness of Dharma, of the safety of Sangha, of the training of the three times and the conditionality of phenomena.

A dear friend in his journal wrote about doubt this way. Doubt is the first obstacle to fearlessness and fearlessness arises from basic goodness, which is who I am, which is who we are this basic goodness. This is what is, this is what to trust, this basic goodness. Basic goodness already is, and we trust ourselves we have to fully trust ourselves. And in this deepest trust of our existence, self doubt is absent. Fundamental goodness is all of us. It is basic and primordial and as Angie Boisavein in her robe chant says, the virtuous field beyond form and emptiness.

So fundamental goodness is unconditioned. It is beyond good and evil. It is wakefulness. And we can witness it constantly in a green leaf, a bird song, a snowflake, a child's smile. And sitting in meditation is the first step to finding this fearlessness. It is the only way to recognize what we've always had, which is our own worthiness.

In the book, The Way of Zen in Vietnam, the Vietnamese Zen master, Gwen Giac, writes about the original emptiness. The four snakes hiding in your luggage, in this luggage, are originally empty of fixity. The five aggregates forming this high mountain are also void. See the true nature of the unhindered and don't worry about nirvana and the cycle of birth and death, and don't worry about attainment. We observe our body and mind. And we see the flowing emptiness, the nature of the four snakes and the five aggregates and the four snakes symbolize the four elements. Earth, water, fire and air. And the four snakes are constantly working and moving in our bodies. Treat them carefully, otherwise they will make you sick. And the five aggregates symbolize the five groups making up a human being's form. The feelings, well the form, of course, and then the feelings, perceptions, volition and consciousness. And the high mountain symbolizes our body and mind and all things we believe we are.

Everything is changing instantly. Everything empties itself instantly and everything is empty. Everything is empty of its causal condition. The one, the one Buddha spoke to his son, Rahula, and in talking to him about all things forming the body and mind, that they must be seen with the right discernment. This is not mine. Even this body is not mine. This is not me. This is not myself. When a person is immersed in the insight of impermanence, his mind enters a state of thoughtlessness and fearlessness. And in this state of fearlessness, his mind realizes nirvana.

When you are deeply mindful in the state of thoughtlessness, your consciousness has nowhere to cling. It has no support to grow and has no inclination for even further future birth. We live with the thoughtless awareness that sees things as they are. Our mind reflects without any judgment or any choice. And if you meditate with a mind that depends on nothing in this world or the other world, you are an outstanding person.

Pema Chodron talks about fear this way, that the only way to experience fearlessness is to know the nature of fear. It is not something we get rid of. Instead, we get to know, we get to know fear well. And moving closer to fear is the journey of courage, the journey of bravery, and coming to know the basis of fear, we come to know fearlessness. Losing your home, losing your job, losing a loved one, losing your status, and you're losing your health can bring on fear. No one intentionally does unskilled actions. But so folks always do what they think is right. And yet we often look to find pleasure and divide the world up into how it should be or how it ought to be.

Pema Chodron suggests that we leap into fear, that we step into fear, and that we rub up next to fear. It is best to smile at our fear. That fear is a dharma gate, the vanguard, a gateway to wisdom and courage. So something arises as fear and next it goes either into we strike out to protect ourselves or we go into a tender wholehearted bravery. So simply being open is not just to be comfortable with parts of life. Being open and receptive. We need to be able to step into what is uncomfortable. To step into fear and be tender with it. To touch what is coming up and then let it go. To touch the difficult feelings and then let them go and place your fear in the cradle of loving kindness.

Red Pine in his translation of the Heart Sutra translates the section on fear that without walls of the mind and thus without fears. Without walls of the mind. Dwelling without walls. Bodhisattva sees things as it is, as Suzuki Roshi has said. We fear what we cannot see. And when we see the indivisibility of things, see the codependent arising, the walls of our mind dissolve. And we can get a glimpse and then fully realize the birthlessness of all things. Once we are able to endure such a realization. Enduring the realization of the birthlessness of all things. There is nothing left to fear.

So how do we endure this realization? How do we bring on this realization? How do we cultivate this deepest understanding? First, we must stop. And we can stop with this practice, this meditation practice of watching mindfully, even fervently. We watch this breath and body and mind when we meditate. Whether sitting, standing, walking, or lying down. We can watch mindfully and fervently. In our meditation, we can set aside notions of sentience and discrimination. We can set aside notions arising from feelings and sensations of pleasant and unpleasant and right and wrong. And once a person realizes dharmas are empty of both inside and out. Once we realize that dharmas are not fixed, that there is no immutable quality of it, that they all arise from causal conditions. We won't have anything to fear inside. And once we see the flowing nature of all existence. We experience the unhindered mind and the fearlessness of being in and of this universe.

In this meditation practice to watch the mind as it is. To see the flowing nature of our body. The four snakes of our body. The solid, the fluid, the fiery, and the air going in and out of our lungs. Once we see how fluid our nature fundamentally is. We develop the unhindered mind and fearlessness of being of and in this universe.

So to close, before I read a poem, I'm going to share, Norm Fisher once said that Zen saved me from myself. And poetry saved me from Zen. So I'm going to read a short passage from Mary Oliver from the poem One or Two Things. This is the third section in it. The god of dirt, my favorite, came up to me many times and said so many wise and delectable things. I laid down on the grass listening to his dog voice, to his crow voice, to his fog voice. And now, he said, and now. And never once mentioned forever.

So thank you for having me today, being joining me today. And I'd like to see if I touched any, any things in you.

I have a question. Yes. Is doubt always considered to be a hindrance, because I would think that oftentimes doubt could lead to the eradication of preconceptions, or allow us to see our preconceived notions the rigidity of reality, I would think that sometimes doubt could actually be a blessing, rather than a hindrance.

You're absolutely right. Doubt also leads us to be caught to question and to be curious, and to investigate. And so that kind of doubt is essential. The doubt, the doubt of the truth of all things can impair us can hinder us, and when we, for example, doubt of our own opinions is is crucial so that we don't hold the fixed views and see other perspectives. So, I do agree doubt is one of great doubt is essential in this practice to fully dive in and and taste what we're experiencing because that doubt opens it up. And other forms of doubt can just cause causes fear and, and anxiety.

And, and it's in my practice of prison chaplaincy one. I asked him how to how he came to meditation. And he said that when he went into prison. Almost all the time he was highly anxious of what others were going to do to him and what was going on, and his own personal safety and had no control over what was going on in his mind. He couldn't sleep and was miserable during the day. And finally, you know, in talking with some prisoners that he could trust one of them gave him a book we're all doing time that that gave some meditation practices, and this is like 15 years ago or more. And just by doing some of these simple meditation practices is anxiety dissipated, and he stuck with it for these last 15 years so what's interesting in in this prison chaplaincy is, yes, there are some people that may be new to it but there are many people that practice deeply meditation because that's what saves them allows them to approach each day even in the conditions that they live in with a sense of freshness and and trust. So thank you.

Yes, Ilana. Is this is basic goodness from your point of view. Something that's individual. Always it's something that's something that is shared as a whole, but many people think that basic goodness is ever present in the fundamental nature of existence. I often choose to say some people are fundamentally good and some people aren't but from my understanding fundamental goodness is is available to everyone. And we breath in a new breath we can meet that fundamental goodness. Though we have all this baggage, we have all these habitual patterns. It's kind of hard to see that fundamental goodness that is present, but we can see it, you know when we go out in nature and and the trees. Finding mushrooms and examining the exquisite qualities that they have of enjoying the landscapes that are around, there's. It is what it is and it is good. We sure pile on a lot of unhealthy ugliness and trouble on ourselves. It's hard to see that fundamental purity and goodness that all of us are are directly connected to.

Hi, Doug. Hi. This is Bill. My bill. I'm here. Good. Good to hear your voice. You're yours. I always strikes me as ironic and it came up in the way you expressed fundamental goodness during your talk, which was not neither good nor bad. And what's the distinction between talking about fundamental goodness seems to me to contradict the idea that we're we're non dualistic that we have a non dualistic appreciation. I wonder if that's the right word fundamental goodness. Rightness, would that be. I'm not sure that's better either, but it always is a little bit confusing to me that we're not going to talk about good and evil and yet we talk about fundamental witness. It's a it's a conundrum that I thought about ever since I read some of these things. I'm not sure that's the right word fundamental goodness. I don't know if you understand that.

Thank you, Bill. Yeah, it's fundamental goodness. Is. How the universe is naturally unfolding as it is, is, is maybe it's wrong to call it good. But when we watch it as it is unfold, and are part of it as it unfolds and help out as it unfolds that unfolding to me is the universe manifesting it's what it does, which I'm calling fundamental goodness. When we start to select and reject. When we try to manipulate. We're, we're now trying to tweak that goodness to our personal advantage. And this fundamental goodness goes beyond what is personally advantageous. You know when walking out in the woods and use. We see the squirrels and the turkeys and the birds flying over them overhead none of them has some of them have a cache of food. But just about all of them are day by day, eating what is available, and that's all they have. And, and without. Well, it's hard to know what the what the animals are thinking, whether they feel it's good or bad or it's like wow I wish the grass would turn green quicker and grow faster. But their participation in it, just as it is, and using what is there is close to that participation in the fundamental goodness that we can as well. It just gets super complicated when we start having all these things. When we start having these intentions and dreams of what, what's next. And some of that, some, some of the dreaming is appropriate, because we can see where the momentum is leading. And one finishes school, one, one's looking at well what, what are the possibilities, because that's what's next. And so, when a situation ripens to a certain level. Is that it? No, because the situation is going to continue to evolve or dissolve. So how do we help it along to evolve or even dissolve? So we got a part to play in it. Do any other words come to mind for you yet, Bill?

No single word. I think the way you talk about it and explain it, that opens it up. We can forget about calling it goodness because you've already filled in all the spaces in the way you talked about being in nature. I think it reminded me of something that Gary Snyder wrote in his book on nature. I forget what the title of it was. And he says, when you're walking in the woods, everybody's asked is somebody else's meal. Question is, is that good? And that is good. That's I suppose. I hope. Would you mind repeating that, what Gary Snyder said, when you're walking in the woods?

He said he realized as you walk in the woods, you see beauty, but you also see destruction and violence and tooth and nail. And you realize that everything, even you. Are another creature's meal. Yeah. And what the quote was, when you're walking in the woods, everybody's ass is somebody else's meal. Now.

And usually that scares the bejesus out of us thinking about, is there a mountain lion nearby or a coyote or what's going on? Exactly. And I know you've met Eric at Jikoji. He seems the kind of guy who would, if he's going to be the meal for a mountain lion, just dive right into it with joy. And that's true fearlessness, to meet what's coming up wholeheartedly, just with everything we've got, with this fervor of feeling.

You know, fervor is a feeling we rarely have. It's cultivated among some sects, religious sects, this spiritual fervor. I would just hope that we get glimpses of that or taste that fervor from time to time. And in that is the direct connection with all of existence, with our Buddha nature, with God, if you want to use that label, too.

To meet our death fearlessly is something we all have the opportunity to do. But it takes practice, it takes, in a way, dying moment by moment and sitting on the cushion and watching each breath arise and dissipate, each breath be born and die with each heartbeat. The oxygen is flowing to cells to get another molecule of oxygen to be sustained for another moment. And when that circulation process stops, the next stages of existence begin, the dissolving of existence. Can we meet that with fearlessness too? Being back in the soup.

Because all we're going to do is keep coming back again and again. Thank you, Gerow, for that cartoon you sent of that young boy sitting next to that old man, I assume it's a grand kid next to his grandpa. And he says, "Grandpa, I didn't believe in reincarnation either when I was your age." And to me, it's like we're all part of this soup and there's no escape, so enjoy. Enjoy it and keep the soup delicious. Thank you.