"Isn't that what this is all about?" — Kaizan Doug

Kaizan Doug Jacobson began practicing Zen in 1974 with Dainin Katagiri Roshi in Minneapolis; he had Jukai in 1977. A householder, father, contractor, and civil/tunnel engineer, following his retirement, he became a full-time resident at Jikoji Zen Center near Los Gatos. He received priest ordination in 2010 and Dharma transmission from Shoho Michael Newhall in 2015. He has led many sesshins, monthly zazenkais, periodic seasonal nature sesshins, and weekly dharma discussion groups. He also helps to maintain and develop infrastructure at Jikoji, getting his hands dirty as a form of Zen practice. In addition, he assists prisoners with Buddhist practice.

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And I was struggling here and just getting along. I'm a passionate human being and one of the qualities that comes with that is activation. I got highly activated last week from just a small incident here and it's crazy how the adrenaline can be so consuming. In the past, my mode of settling down was to use up the adrenaline by finding a stump somewhere and digging it out of the ground, which would usually take me a few days. Or heading to the boulder field to go grab some boulders and move some mass. But this time it was just letting it settle in. Actually, the most solace came from this last Wednesday.

Today I'm going to use the words of many and provide an opportunity for you all to share too. This last Wednesday, early afternoon in Washington, a young woman said, "When the dawn comes, we ask ourselves, where can we find light in the never-ending shade?" These words from Amanda Gorman moved us all. Her words and others moved me in deep ways and gave a chance in this large context to see how it is to lift our heads up and feel the deep gratitude of the shared existence on this vast organism that is this nation, that is part of the Sangha of the nations of Sanghas, and how we engage in this world and how we reengage with kindness and respect and caring and determination.

It's a great opportunity for people to get along and collaborate in this world. And one of the deeply gratifying places to find it is here at Santa Barbara Zen Center, where people come together and collaborate in this investigation and inquiry to find and to develop useful tools for those in need.

I wanted to share some other words today that express some of what is about in these transitions that we're now in the midst of from these last few weeks in this first month of 2021. Amanda said, "The loss we carry, a sea we must wade. We've braved the belly of the beast. We've learned that quiet isn't always peace and the norms and notions of what just is, isn't always justice. So let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true, that even as we grieved, we grew, that even as we hurt, we hoped, that even as we tired, we tried, that we will ever be tied together victorious, not because we never again know defeat, but because we never again sow division. When day comes we step out of the shade, aflame and unafraid, the new day blooms as we free it, for there is always light, if only we are brave enough to see it, if we are only brave enough to be it." Aflame, unafraid, we free it, brave enough to see it, we be it.

Another poet I encountered was Kofi Lost from Chicago who explored this most fundamental quality in children, curiosity. Not curiosity to get ahead, to just get ahead, but to deeply understand, and these are some of his words: "The most human trait is to want to know why. It's our favorite question as kids. We ask to understand why we are and why things happen. We ask the most when we don't know, and that makes sense. And it's not all to get ahead. It takes a village to live on this rock we call home. And we learned that not too long ago. Somehow, some way we can figure it out, learn a little bit from each other along the way, raise each other up, lift each other's heads, stretch our arms around each other after a long day. Many paths bloom in unexpected detours. So do we still have strength to continue? There are many paths this year, but we kept going. We did it for the most inquisitive among us. We did it without a second thought because until we get to every answer, we are still searching."

It really warmed me to see how these qualities that are so core, so fundamental and essential to us were so greatly expressed this week. And then our new nation's leader, President Joe, expressed some of these words: to see one another, to hear one another, respect one another is most important. Facts, not fiction, unity, not division, light, not darkness, a story of decency and dignity, love and healing, greatness and goodness. May this be the story that guides us. Decency, dignity, love, healing, greatness, goodness. Can these be the words of our story, of our narrative?

So after this transforming week, after these last four years and beyond, what story, what connections have you made in your life and practice? Each of us finding our way in this personal, local, regional, national, global sanghas we are all a part of. What connections and inspirations, what insights have appeared for you in this time? A transition from dark to light, from confusion to clarity, from conflict to communing again with all and for all beings. Is this what it is? Can nations actually provide inspiration, much as individuals like the Buddha Lao Tzu inspire us and inspired all the Buddhists and ancestors and enlightening ones of the past and present?

So what is the meaning for you? What inspired you? What insights befell you? What connections sustain you? So I ask this and open it to you, to hear from you.